Touching grass

It did not go well.

Apologies in advance, this may be bit of a post that serves only to harangue the physics pertaining to grass.

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Bit of background, I’m generally quite an active person, cycling about 12km a day and walking around if need be. But today, got caught up in a rounders game at school and it seemed as it was out for me. By my own count, I think I slipped over about 11 times in a 1hr period, which for an 18 year old is not really a good look. Some might say an inability to remain upright marks a lack of basic competence - following today, I would vehemently agree with this for the reasons to follow.

Essentially, lots of running around in this elaborate game of throw and catch. I’d quite often try to catch the ball or move towards it to help the team out, but then I would fall over!! More accurately I would slip. My hypothesis is that the coefficient of friction between my trainers and the grass was insufficient to prevent calamity, but now let’s be scientific and see what evidence there is to support this precisely:

1. I note that while falling over, I was unable to prevent it despite halting the running motion.
2. It is believed that the primary lack of balance was not caused by inherent human deficiencies (indeed most other people stayed upright), but instead by an individual failure to recognise that different bits of me retained different quantities of momementum.
3. This led to an imbalance of moments (modelling my body as an upright cylinder of uniform density).
4. Therefore, while attempting to change direction or stop quickly, a temporary lack of control caused the turning force about my central axis to exceed that which could be controlled by friction or other balancing forces.
5. I also note the following mitigating factors:
   • The average number of times I fall over in a day is below one.
   • The ground was slightly damp and grass cut short.
   • This caused a reduced friction coefficient than what I would have usually anticipated.
   • The reduced traction and failure to quickly adapt was exacerbated by the panic of the game.
   • I was not able to rely on the usual amounts of force at ~45° between the vertical and intended direction of motion (N3L).

Therefore, I conclude that despite some personal error, the main problems originated with the grass and how I was able to interact with it. Irregularities in the ground set me up for failure and embarassment before my peers. Slipping over repetitively is unfun and my leg hurt for a while after.

Informally, I reckon the ground was rigged and the grass had it out for me. Just you wait until I’m on top of the world, then I’ll show that grass who’s boss.

P.S. This is what some friends said I ‘was basically like’. Not happy but pretty funny in retrospect: